In the past my holidays have been filled with worry and conflict
From the feelings of deprivation, eating tiny meals - Because I wasn’t in a routine, didn’t trust myself , didn’t know the right foods for me, and had that immense fear of gaining weight
To going on full on binges of Ben and Jerrys, Pizza, Crisps, Milka chocolate, chips and White Zinfandel Rose
I would go back and forth between both. On holiday, this started when I was 15
As I got older, the binge drinking became more of an issue. I get that we will all go on those mad holidays with the girls, but they were never “ that” type of holiday
I was using alcohol as an escape- an easy way to forget my anxieties, to temporarily reduce those low points, to block out the fact that perhaps I wasn’t on holiday with the right person, or was unhappy at home, in both my personal life and career
This year I was able to observe myself
I had carbs and treats, and alcohol in moderation
Yes a couple of times I would suddenly get a craving for some milka chocolate , or to drink a bit more, but I didn’t latch onto these feelings with despair, beat myself up about it, or start a binge or restrict cycle..
.. I found these cravings interesting, I managed to calmly observe how I was feeling, and further a long the line if I fancied a bit of chocolate, or a glass of rose, I bloody had it!
It has only been in the last three years I have been able to do this
And it has only felt like this year I am truly in comfortable with my mindset and happy sitting with these observations .
We only live once
We only have a few weeks of a year that we can fully relax, spend wall to wall time with the people we chose to and are lucky enough to have in our lives
I wasted 26 years on my feelings of inadequacy, worry, lack of control, emotional eating and drinking, and burying my feelings
Its time to make up for it.
You should too
Apply here for your FREE transformation session HERE, and let me help you banish your demons for good.