Do you dread that moment on jump on the scale?
I was about 11 when I started weighing myself
Tying my happiness and self worth to the scales
Being thin, super thin, was considered the ultimate goal, the seal of approval
My life would feel complete- I would finally be confident
If I could fit into the clothes my friend’s wore, I would fit in
I would be obsessively focus on a number on the scales, but not really know why
What I did know is that I would be thrown into turmoil if I didn’t get closer to it, god forbid if I got further away from it
Eventually , I would have enough , or would get so dangerously obsessed, that I just never wanted to go back there, and would go the other way
NEITHER made me happy
Back to being dangerously obsessed - I was about 15/16 when things started getting more out of hand-a cycle of restriction, followed by binge eating
I was about 9st 7lb- about 10lbs heavier than I am now
If someone had told me that 15 years later I would be that much heavier I would be horrified
But SHE was completely wrong- she had got it ALL wrong.
She was chasing something she thought she should have, because of what was in front of her, what she was reading and watching.
She had picked an ideal weight out of the sky
What DOES a number on the scale even mean?
I didn’t even question this, what was important to ME at the core
A size 10 is best for me- I will be happy and healthy
I needed to find clothes that looked amazing on me, rather than HAVING to wear what my friends wore because they were a size smaller than me
Eating indulgent food every so often without the guilt AND being able to stop, would be one of the keys to my happiness and freedom .
If I had understood my food- I would actually enjoy it
Oh, and by the way, I would make a career out of it
Time spent , on your own, focusing on what you want - even half an hour- many cant do it without grabbing their phone, it might seem like a waste of time
But I wasted years being unhappy
Not listening to myself
How many will YOU waste?